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All The Creatures Were Stirring

"In tone, we wanted it to feel like an episode of The Office, almost, except if Jim got his head blown off three minutes into the episode."
- All the Creatures Were Stirring's audio commentary on "The Stockings Were Hung"
Yuletide horror. Horror anthologies. Two great tastes that should taste great together, but how many Christmas horror anthologies have Santa's elves ever bothered to put together? One?! Ugh. Writers/directors David Ian McKendry and Rebekah McKendry couldn't let this stand. If you're cursed with my same fascination with both Christmas-themed chills and genre anthologies, then brace yourself, 'cause All the Creatures Were Stirring is about to be your new holiday tradition.


Framed around an awkward let's-be-alone-together-on-Christmas-Eve date (wait, is it a date?!) at an avant-garde theatre, All the Creatures Were Stirring unwraps five different vignettes, beginning with "The Stockings Were Hung".


Take the Yankee Swap episode of The Office, sprinkle in a little Saw and...I dunno, some Mayhem for good measure (available now from your friends at RLJE Films!), and you're somewhere in the neighborhood. Pretty much everyone in this joyless corporate office is desperate to high-tail it out of there, but a holiday gift exchange has been mandated, so they just have to suffer through it if they wanna stay gainfully employed. At first, it seems like the worst fate awaiting them is getting stuck with a bottle of homemade balsamic vinegar. And then...well, there's a reason a voice on the phone maniacally cackles "I can't wait to watch you all die!" Whoever this sadistic bastard is, he can see every move they make. He's pumping the room full of some noxious gas. The conference room table is covered in gifts: some offering a glimmer of salvation when unwrapped; others leading to...[read the entire DVD review of All The Creatures Were Stirring]


Lucio Fulci's Zombie (2018 4K Remaster) (Blu-ray)

"...but my father's father said that when the dead rise from the grave, the living will give them their blood."
- Lucas, Zombi 2
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A sailboat bobs around aimlessly in New York Harbor, stumbling into the path of seemingly every ship and ferry that tries to make its way across. One attempt after another to raise the crew fails. A helicopter circling overhead is unable to spot any signs of life. Harbor Patrol is dispatched to take a look, not expecting to find much more than a drunken skipper passed out in the cabin. As one of the cops skulks around below, a bloated corpse – swollen like a tick from having devoured the ship's crew – breaks down a door to feast again. A couple shots from a pistol later, this...thing tumbles off the sailboat and sinks into the bay. The chaos unfolds too quickly for the surviving officer to make any sense of it. That he'd stared down a zombie never occurs to him. It's not immediately understood that the fallen officer met his end courtesy of a bite to the jugular. No one's sure what the hell has just happened.

Newspaper reporter Peter West (Ian McCulloch) and the daughter of the sailboat's missing owner (Tisa Farrow) are hellbent on uncovering the truth. It's a search that takes them thousands of miles away to the Caribbean island of Matool. Whether it's some sort of previously unidentified disease or a voodoo curse, no one knows for certain, but something is making the dead on Matool rise from their graves to feed upon the living. The infection has consumed nearly everyone on this remote speck of an island. Only a few straggling survivors remain, and the ravenous legions...[read the entire Blu-ray review of Lucio Fulci's Zombie (2018 4K Remaster)]



Ant-Man and the Wasp (Ultra HD Blu-ray)

"Do you guys just put the word 'quantum' in front of everything?"

Let's see here.

Blu-ray
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::peers down at clipboard, then looks up at this screenshot again:: Ant-Man. The Wasp. Yup, the title checks out.

Ant-Man and the Wasp is, of course, a followup to 2015's Ant-Man, but just as importantly, it also serves as a sequel to Captain America: Civil War. After that whole thing with Ant-ManGiant-Man squaring off against half of the Avengers in Berlin, in defiance of the Sokovian Accords, pretty much everyone's peeved with Scott Lang (Paul Rudd). Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) is miffed with him because Scott swiped his suit, put him and his daughter on the FBI's radar, and have left 'em on the run. Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) is miffed with Scott because he didn't ask her to march with him into battle. C'mon, she and her dad have been working on a fancy new Wasp suit and everything! And the Feds are miffed because...y'know, international incident. Despite trashing Leipzig/Halle Airport, Scott somehow managed to walk away with a slap on the wrist. Two years house arrest, five years probation, gotta swear off Pym particles and avoid contact with any unsavory characters...namely, Hank or Hope. Violation of any of the above gets Scott locked in the clink for twenty years.

It's been a drag not being able to so much as step outside for the past couple of years, but hey, Scott's managed to set up a security consulting company – X-Con! – with Luis (Michael Pe a) and his pals. He's able to stay closer to his beloved daughter, Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). And hey, only a couple more days until he's a free(ish) man!

Blu-ray
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And then he has that vision.

Scott somehow sees through the eyes of Janet Van Dyne (Michelle Pfeiffer), the...[read the entire Ultra HD Blu-ray review of Ant-Man and the Wasp]


More reviews...

Stuff I've Watched Recently

  • 12/16: The Shanghai Story (Blu-ray)
  • 12/15: The Shop Around the Corner (Television)
  • 12/15: The Master (Blu-ray)
  • 12/14: Ice Cream Man (Blu-ray)
  • 12/13: The Children (1980) (Blu-ray)
  • 12/12: The Slayer (Blu-ray)
  • 12/11: The Vault (Hdtv)
  • 12/10: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Blu-ray)
  • 12/9: La Bambola Di Satana (Blu-ray)
  • 12/8: Die Hard (Uhd)
  • 12/7: Short Night of Glass Dolls (Blu-ray)
  • 12/5: All The Creatures Were Stirring (DVD; Commentary)
  • 12/5: All The Creatures Were Stirring (DVD)
  • 12/2: Zombie (4K Remaster) (Blu-ray; Commentary)
  • 12/2: Zombie (4K Remaster) (Blu-ray)
More of my boring video log...
 
Movies I've Acquired Recently

  • 12/12: The Complete Sartana (Blu-ray)
  • 12/12: Django / Texas, Adios (Limited Edition) (Blu-ray)
  • 12/3: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Blu-ray)
  • 12/1: The Slayer (Blu-ray)
  • 12/1: Willard (1971) (Blu-ray)
  • 12/1: The Shanghai Story (Blu-ray)
  • 12/1: The Thing from Another World (Blu-ray)
  • 11/29: All The Creatures Were Stirring (DVD)
  • 11/29: Zombie (4K Remaster) (Blu-ray)
  • 11/24: Mission: Impossible - 6 Movie Collection (Uhd)
  • 11/24: Goodfellas (Uhd)
  • 11/23: Hell or High Water (Uhd)
  • 11/23: Demon Wind (Blu-ray)
  • 11/23: Liquid Sky (Blu-ray)
  • 11/23: Ice Cream Man (Blu-ray)
More stuff I've bought or been sent to review...


 
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